How to Overcome Addiction
The stories we attach to our addictions become so intricate and complex that we end up submitting to them; the emotions and the pain we run from feeling so palpable that we give up hope. However, the story we tell ourselves is a total fabrication. Whatever your addiction may be, and you can become addicted to practically anything when utilised excessively, it is not something that is out of your control. On the contrary, addiction is totally your choice because it is a failure to tame one's desires and cravings, and once this fact is accepted, then one can take back control of the mind and thus addiction.
A significant factor in us feeling so helpless and out of control concerning our addictive impulses is the fact that our understanding of addiction is flawed. The official definition of addiction is: "an inability to stop or using something; usually something of harm". In my opinion, this definition is more pertinent to children than an adult. It exudes a sense of helplessness and completely alleviates all responsibility, transferring the power from oneself to a substance, condition, or pain connected to a past event or situation. The real definition of addiction is as follows: "An inability to control your desires and cravings". To be explained, I first need to mention the concept of polarity. We all recognise that addiction is often a means to escape reality, whether that be from our emotions connected to past trauma, the present or anxieties over the future. While that is true, ask yourself one question: What are you running towards if you are running away from reality? What is it that you are now chasing? When you use addiction to distract yourself from reality, what you are really doing is chasing your DESIRED reality. By attempting to run from pain and discomfort, you are, by default, chasing pleasure and comfort. Pain and pleasure possess polarity because, although they may appear different, they are the same thing; pain and pleasure are totally co-existent and co-dependent. Therefore, addiction may appear to be a by-product of displeasure and pain, but in reality, addiction is a reflection of your inability to stop chasing pleasure and satisfaction. Otherwise known as your desires and cravings.
So now we have redefined the cause of addiction, we can break down why our addictions feel so strong and how we can take back control. Okay, so addiction is due to an inability to control desires, but why do we struggle so much to tame our desires and cravings? The reason is the strength of said emotions and an attachment to them that has existed since childhood. We desire certain states because we have each constructed a mental image of ourselves and the world around us. We label emotional states, people, situations and practically everything as either good or bad. Our Egos have conditioned our minds to think this way and thus created strong attachments to these emotions. These emotions and attachments feel so intense that we have come to associate the very essence of our being with these physical and mental states, resulting in great suffering when reality does not reflect the expectations of the Ego. In this state of being, one is bound to become addicted to something because one yearns to be alleviated from the onset of pain at the hands of one's emotions. The Ego, emotions, and attachments all stem from the mind, which is both the problem and the solution to taming one's desires and thus addiction. Your ego creates states of pleasure and pain, and it then ensures its survival through strong attachments. This causes one to endlessly chase desires and thus indulge in distractions when the cravings are not met; we become addicted to something because of an inability to control our minds.
If you cannot control your mind, then your mind is controlling you. Therefore, if you want to overcome addiction, you must first overcome your mind. One cannot merely alienate said addictions by cutting them out of one's life; this is a temporary solution but not a permanent one. To declare victory over addiction, one must maintain the willpower to refuse to indulge in the substance or activity. Win the battle against your mind, and you will win the war against addiction. Addiction is usually a long-standing, seemingly deep-rooted and complex issue, but the solution to overcoming it is rather simple; learn to separate your Ego (sense of self) from your being (consciousness).
The first step to overcoming the prison of your mind is to accept reality. If you feel depressed, angry, jealous, or anguished, do not fight it. Accept your situation by enduring the emotions rather than succumbing to them. Once reality is accepted, seek to analyse your emotions and the urge that is drawing you to your addiction. Breathe deeply and concentrate so as not to allow your mind to wander. Observe your desires without the stories you have attached to them, like "drinking will make me feel better" or "I feel sad because of what so and so did to me". Separate the emotional chatter of your Ego by recognising it as something other than yourself.The acceptance of reality and the recognition of your Ego as being separate from your being, you will gain insight into the truth that addiction stems from a lack of control over desires and cravings. You have lost control over your mind and thus have no control over your emotions, but no matter the severity of your condition, there is still hope.
You and your Ego are solely responsible for your addiction, which means you are the only one with the power to stop it. Books, articles, programs and retreats can aid in helping, but ultimately, it is totally in your hands because you are the one who has lost control, so you must claim it back.